I
am a great big majestic pine tree standing by the side of an Arco Gas Station
Overlooking
the restrooms and the parking area.
I’m
stuck here in a patch of dirt the management calls a call a planter
Once
I really longed to be free, I wanted to live my life in Yosemite
I
thought I would make a really good home for a family of squirrels
There
are no squirrels nearby
But
I have come to realize that it really doesn’t matter
I
have a job here to do
Every
afternoon a wino comes and sits in my shade
To
count his daily gathering of aluminum cans
and
anticipate the money he made
The
wino mumbles words that nobody but me can understand
So
he sits by me for hours and talks
I
listen
Every
so often a crow or a few sparrows stop by to chat
On
their way to MacDonald’s next door
Sunday
There
was some real excitement around here
Someone
one robbed our store
The
cops chased the guy in his car straight at me
The
service station attendant is really nice
sometimes
when he cleans out the men’s room
He
shoots water from the hose in my direction
Monday
The
radiator of this station wagon exploded into a giant cloud of white steam
And
a cute little girl with a pink bow in her hair sat underneath me on a blanket
Watching
her baby brother for over an hour while mom kept feeding quarters into the pay
phone, calling for help.
The
tow truck finally came and took them someplace
But
I sure enjoyed her company because of the songs she could sing
and
the smile on her face
Tuesday
night
this jerk tried to spray some graffiti on me
but
I got even with him instead
Just
as he was pushing down on the can’s nozzle to cover me really good
I
dropped one of my biggest pine cones on his head.
I
heard him scream a bad word at me as he picked up his paint and ran
Wednesday
I
got a tattoo
I
really thought it would hurt.
This
7th grader named Burt
Brought
his girl friend named Angela by after school
and
he carved their initials in a heart on my bark
He
walked her home after that
But
Burt came back and sat looking at me and my tattoo until long after dark
Thursday
I
finally made friends with the pigeons.
The
wino asked a Lady in a Lexus for a dollar to eat
She
ignored him and retreated into the wash room
I
told the pigeons to crap on her windshield
When
she came out and saw what the pigeons did
She
paid the old guy two bucks to wash her window
He
did not get the windows very clean but both felt that they got a good deal
Friday
I
was frightened when I heard from a passing owl that houses were made out of
trees
That
people had cut down and sliced in to lumber
But
then I was happy to hear and thought that the practice was wise
That
they hardly ever used trees from Van Nuys
Saturday
I
have decided that people who drive those big SUV cars and Luxury Sedans are
really a lot nicer because they visit me almost twice as much
as
those people with the ugly little cars
Well…Tomorrow
it will be Sunday again
And
I am really looking forward to starting a new week
Except
I hope that dam dog will go someplace else
and
make friends with a fire hydrant or something.
In
closing I will tell you that at 4:00 an eagle rested here from an afternoon of
soaring
I
guess that All in all Yosemite would probably be really, really boring
Mikeb