The Department of Fish and Game really knows what they are doing
But I'm wiser now, and I know just who they are are fooling
I worked hard all my life but the toughest job I have ever had
Was taking my three kids fishing all at once, just trying to be a dad.
In the morning, just before dawn broke,
the youngest, Ryan, started jumping around the tent
and I of course awoke.
Mom was nestled in her sleeping bag remaining real content.
His brother and sister were there,
Shrieks, giggles and arguments filled the morning air.
Daddy do something, Jason hit me and it isn’t really fair.
I carried four fishing poles, two tackle boxes, snacks, a teddy bear and bait
about a mile and a half down to the rivers edge.
Tiffany had to go to the bathroom so we all had to stand there and wait.
Meanwhile Ryan walked over by the cliff and was getting ready to fall of the ledge.
I was running as fast as I could and tryin
To grab Ryan
When Tiffany yelled from deep inside the head.
Daddy there’s no paper in here and bugs are on the floor.
Now the question was Should I answer her or rescue Ryan instead.
We got to the river at last but when I put the poles down
Jason stepped on mine, which was the best,
but you can guess the rest.
The kids thought it would be a good idea to throw rocks in the water
To wake up the fish
Now, if I could just make a wish
That would have been the end of my sons and daughter.
Finally there were three hooks tied on to the line
There were three worms attached to the hooks,
And three lines cast out as far as I could manage while holding
A Kleenex for Jason to blow into.
The bobber on Tiffany’s line went under
The fish took the pole out of her hand, off the rock
And into the stream way out of reach.
Ryan let out a scream and Tiffany began to screech.
If you have ever walked or tried to walk on slimy river rocks
You know exactly why I was wishing I had never left the beach.
Dads can hold their breath for ten minutes if necessary
But not usually their temper.
Just when I thought I would run out of air,
I reached the surface with the fishing line wrapped in my hair.
And I tried my best not to whimper
Jason had reeled in his line
He thought the worm must be dead because the fish weren’t biting
He managed to hook up another just fine,
But when he cast out, hoping for a trout
He caught the hook on a tree branch
And he and his brother started fighting.
I waded back to shore, clutching Tiffany’s pole
Her fish of course had by now gotten away
I clawed my way up the river bank and slipped in a mud hole.
As I attempted to untangle Jason’s line
I reached up on tip toes, a bee, actually a yellow jacket
Started buzzing around my nose.
I lost my balance, not that I am clumsy, but the bee was making such a racket.
I fell head first in to a thicket of poison oak
And that really was no joke.
Just about noon the sun had almost baked me done.
I put sun block on the kids but the bottle ran dry
When the last drop splashed into my eye.
Jason said "Boy, Dad, We Sure Are Having Fun"
Ryan caught a frog and Jason snagged another log.
I was cold, miserable and damp,
And ready to grab our gear and head for camp
All at once Tiffy screeched again.
Then she began giggling.
Indeed, I could see Her fishing pole was wiggling.
I yelled "Reel him in and don’t you let him go".
And She did it, she did just as I told her so.
A tiny fish out popped out,
And landed at Ryan’s feet.
Jason scooped him up and there they stood,
A perfect picture which was very sweet.
The three of them all holding one tiny little trout
I grabbed the camera from my bag.
I needed some sort of evidence to later verify my brag.
I snapped the shot and got all misty eyed inside.
When I realized how much this minnow cost me,
I almost broke down and cried.
Around the campfire, the night began to fall
The day was drawing to an end and cooling
But if you recall
In the beginning I said The Department of Fish and Game knew what there doing
They charged me twenty five bucks for the license I had bought
To fish in the deep sea and fresh water
Knowing full well that not a single fish will be caught
At least not by a father